June 5, 2011

I'm So Happy This Bank Makes People Happy

Will ya' look at all these gigantic photos of smiling people!!?
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Look at how HUGE and HAPPY these people are!!  You got Dreadlocks Mulatto Happy...Swedish Blonde With Bangs Happy...Older But Casual Enough To Wear T-Shirt With Blazer Happy...Confident Vaguely Middle East/South East Asian/Possibly Latino Happy...Aloha-wear Tan and Grey Mustache Happy...and let's throw in Asian Kid Happy!!!
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I MUST BANK HERE AND BECOME HAPPY!!!!


May 27, 2011

Making an Idiot Out of Yourself Can Change Your Life

I'm at a loss here.  This woman has a shoe that can change her life and what does she do?  She puts the shoe on her head, shrugs and makes a face like Renee Zellweger hearing voices.  Is this a life-changing event? 
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May 23, 2011

Protest at the Consolidated Plastics Catalog Shoot

The bottles in the back seem kinda proud to be on the cover.  The pill vial is feeling a little uncomfortable, but the baggie has the biggest problems.  Looks like the photographer had his hands full on this shoot.  I bet the next thing job he photographed was anything but plastic bottles.  He'd be glad to shoot cranky Eurotrash models rather than these prima donnas.
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May 8, 2011

You're LOST Without The Salad Guide

Who ya gonna buy salad from?  Somebody who just throws it in a bag and calls it "romaine" or somebody who throws it in a bag, calls it "romaine" and gives you the definitive guide to salad by criteria of taste and texture. 

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I rest my case.

May 7, 2011

The Website Is Like Paper Which Is Like a Leaf Which is Like a Sticker

This little "green" notice may have gone unnoticed.  Were it not for the curator of the Museum, who deconstructs it for us.  Think about it for a moment. 

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Save paper...be green...like a leaf...which you are not...but it signifies that...sort of.



April 22, 2011

If You Like Hip-Hop, You're Gonna LOVE This KitchenAid Appliance!

The ad-bots or whatever algorithm programmed to serve up ads on this fan page for Drizzy Drake were reaching a little far here.  I can only guess if they figured "mixtape" why not "KitchenAid Mixer?!" 

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Then again, DJs love to mix their sound into a heady brew, sprinkled with beats that vacuum up the fans....

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April 18, 2011

We Saved Water! And Destroyed Everything Else!

In a fancy bathroom, here's a super-cool, brushed steel, ultra-modern automatic flushing urinal panel with a tiny little message on a sticker in the bottom left. 

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That 3' x 3' heavy steel panel took a lotta carbon and iron, natural resources up the wazoo.  But hey you're saving water, so what the hell! 


April 14, 2011

Why Maki? Because We Said Maki!

This was literally on the opening day of this brand spanking new sushi joint...and the "M" is missing off their walls!  Not a good start, not a good start at all.
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March 21, 2011

Live Radiantly (miserable)

From the School of Black and White Photography of Serious Models, comes this uplifting message of utter despondency...smile much?

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March 20, 2011

Notice they didn't call this "Queen Pills"

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You can't tell me this catalog copywriter isn't having some fun. 





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