How is this statement supposed to make us act? If I read it, I wasted 3 minutes and I'm 3 minutes closer to death.
If I don't read it, I save 3 minutes. The headline makes me want to save time and money and turn the page.
From quiet comic genius David Mirsky comes this screen recording of a birthday greeting from his mom via "123 Greetings - Free Greetings for the Whole Planet." Turn up the sound, set to full-screen and prepare for Marketing Madness.
For those following along, the audio is for the DePuy Knee Replacement ad, then the M&Ms takeover barges in with more audio. On the right side, you have business cards flying all over the place and then, payoff, the actual Happy Birthday song in all its digitized MIDI-enabled shrillness.
Two things irritating me about this one.
1. I have a feeling in the Lindt chocolate factory, they have no time for some clown with a whisk and a copper pot; we're talking industrial vats of chocolate
2. And that question, "Do you dream in chocolate?" So what if I do? It might be nightmares.
Please see this Madness Museum entry for an all-too-similar approach to chocoholism.
Here's your entire day in a nutshell, or in bottles.
And wrap it all up with a splash of coconut water because, well, because it was next to the other stuff and it was on sale and you bought it.
You don't even think about this ... until you re-read it and remember: THIS IS FOR A HOSPITAL.
Welcome back to the place you were at before when we sliced you open last time!
Try to avoid the wig display looking like a horror movie. Business may pick up with better presentation.
Is it me? Or does this strike you too as just pointless decoration?
Most likely the copywriter, the designer, the guys who hung these things in the window, were all born after the sixties. They have no idea that these expressions connote long-haired freakfests of bad acid trips, scratchy vinyl records without no camcorders or mobile phones.
Why is this stock photo creepy?
a. She's the only one smiling and looking at the camera.
b. She's the only one in focus.
c. She's got an eyebrow raised that says, "Hey, I'm the only one smiling, in focus and looking at the camera."
d. This image has nothing to do with anything on this page.
Dey all dead so what they gon' do?
Advertising whored them around hocking mattresses and sheets for years, so what's the harm here?
No harm...just stupid.
It's like asking for directions and someone says, "I can't give you directions, but can I blow you a kiss and give you this flower!"
When did a 404 page become a chance for nerds to flirt with me?