October 5, 2009

"Paging Dr. Clinker! Paging Dr. Clinker!"

Even if it is coming from Ed Koch, it just doesn't sound right.  Are we talking about doctors or car mechanics?  
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And don't even get me started on the similarity between the word "clinker" and the word "clunker" (associated with a car you trade in for cash as in "Cash For Clunkers).

October 3, 2009

Electrified Class Action: The Litigation of Tomorrow

When you think "class action" what weather phenomenon do you think of?  Patchy fog?  Wind advisory?  Nope...Lightning Bolts!!  So, what better way to illustrate that point than to make an icon, with a little ball for a head of a guy based on a bolt!  
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Just be careful it doesn't look like the guy is in some squatting position, as if he's about to sit down and do something ... perhaps in a bathroom.  

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October 1, 2009

Get Down Off The Ladder and Tell Me Where You Want Your Number!

Another example of the Extreme Height, Wide Angle School of Stock Photos.  This one is so extreme that it looks like her body consists of a huge torso with deformed stumps as some kind of pedestal.  She's otherwise kinda attractive, but I feel sorry for her.  

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September 29, 2009

Awfully Prominent Place for a Personal Ad

This all-text banner, featured at the top of the Opinion page on nytimes.com, might catch your eye because it's not all Flash animation and wordplay.  But, unfortunately, nobody reads anything anymore.  And, for those of us who do, this looks like some kind of personal ad in the classifieds: 
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How about:

SWM IT Executive seeks submissive customers for hot audio-conferencing.  Must be willing to appreciate deep, steamy savings and want world-class service bad.  You want 3 months of web conferencing at no charge?! I've got it...come and get it baby! 

September 26, 2009

Texas Toast - Imported From The 5 Boroughs

I think "Texas Toast" is like "Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese."  Philadelphia has no historical connection to cream cheese.  This is not "the toast that all Texans eat and love."

So going the extra mile here to slap "New York" on the Texas Toast box pushes the regional connection even further across the map. 
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To further obfuscate the insanity, please note the background behind "New York" is the colors of the Italian flag.  Ay Caramba!

September 20, 2009

Back To School with Lunchmeat

If you look in the middle of this photo you'll see 2 red plastic rulers at an angle.  I can only imagine this is part of some vague, poorly executed 'back to school' theme.  Sure!  Get your pens, pencils, notebooks and olive loaf and start the year off right!
 
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September 14, 2009

Cuckoo for Generic Stuff

Don't be fooled by cheap imitations!  How can you tell the generic product from the chocolate cereal that makes a certain bird go cuckoo?  Let's explore! 
cococuckoo_SM.jpg

Similar chocolatey-goodness background, but the Brand has floating chocolate balls.
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I want to see movement with my milk!  Pour it on!!! Not just a little jostling of the bowl.
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Nobody, but, NObody is as cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs as this bird.  Whadya got here?  A friggin magician mouse.  Didn't I see this guy in the background of some Disney cartoon.  

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And finally...Cocoa Magic!?!  Leave the magic to Lucky Charms baby.  Here's it's the Puffs man, and we ain't talkin no Puff the Magic Dragon!
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September 12, 2009

HelLOOOOO Pseudoscientific Ingredients!!

Now, first of all, Herbal Essences is a very early 70s brand from a time when herbal tea was considered about as exotic as Devandra Benhart.  Of course, herbal essence later became a nickname for another herbal substance often smoked in bongs.  But then, let's stick with this shampoo.  
helloHydra.jpg
So you got a brand that's "that 70s brand" and you need something hip, fun, maybe a little quirky.  How about some wordplay, alliteration and a little science stuff too for kicks!  Does it make ANY sense at all.  I think not.  What exactly do these 2 words mean?  Think about it: "H E L L O   H Y D R A T I O N ? ? ! !"  

September 9, 2009

Spectacular Count Dracular

So our local A&P proudly displays a wrinkled vinyl sign that seems to be declaring some kind of "saving event."
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Folks, when you're doing the wordplay thing, try to make sure the new word makes just a little bit of sense.  Marketing fell all over themselves trying to morph the word spectacular into the color of the whole campaign "red" and came up with..."Red-tacular?"  That is red-iculous and a spectombular waste of a marketutidinous umbiculousness.  Uhh...yeah.   
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September 5, 2009

Guess Which Big Client We Hated A LOT

If you like your clients and you want to show your work for them, tell the world.

If you don't like your clients, but you want to show the work here's a solution.

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