October 14, 2010

Glamorous Suicide Bombers

Let's face it.  "Juicy Couture" makes about as much sense as any random combination of words thrown together.  "Empty Touniquet?"  "Hungry Clavicle?"  What about "Crumbly Windowshade?" 

So maybe we shouldn't be surprised that this season's look at Juicy is "Romantic Military."

Don't ask.  Don't Tell.  But look FABULOUS!!

romantic_military1.jpg


juicy_couture2.jpg



campaigns, fashion, Juicy Couture, logos
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Comments = 1
October 12, 2010

Five Reasons Your Feet Have Five Toes (not fingers)

Here are five (5) reasons your product is useless nonsense.

1. You need a poster that has 5 reasons explaining why people should use the product.
2. Most people look at your product and laugh or shake their head in disgust.
3. A small number of people think your product is so cool, nobody gets it; they are ahead of their time.  (just because they're ahead of their time doesn't mean they're ahead of anyone else's time.)
4. Your product takes a simple act and complicates it in unforeseen ways.  (walking requires stimulating "neural function important to balance and agility")
5. Your product is featured in The Museum of Marketing Madness!
fivetoes2.jpg



fashion, shoes, visual merchandising
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October 10, 2010

Life Is (not that) Good ®

I'll admit I don't like this brand. 

The message is too simple: Life is good.

But it's really: "Life is Good REGISTERED TRADEMARK WE CAN SAY IT'S GOOD BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS CIRCLE R AFTER OUR NAME." 
Life_good_comp.jpg


Here's the whole display in a store...all in your face about it.

Life_good_comp2.jpg
 

Life is not "good."  Life doesn't behave itself and be good.  Life can suck.  Be unfair.  Shitty.  Crazy.  Stink.  Be bloody awful.  Be Hell. 

It's "Good" for the guy who came up with this slogan, registered a trademark and sold millions of dollars of merch and now lives like a king.  Does that make the entire Life Experience Good.  I think not!

clothing, fashion, life is good, visual merchandising
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October 4, 2010

I'm The First of My Friends To Like The Two Dead Men


I'm so glad these Facebook tools are everywhere. 

I_like_the_2_Men_Shot_Dead2.jpg
I bet the 14 people who like this are not the 2 dead men.

facebook, widgets
Posted by lee sachs at 9:46 AM | | TrackBacks (0)

September 28, 2010

Cheese Chest

cheesechest.jpg

What better way to appeal to the little kiddies then come up with a playful animated character?!

So this lil' guy has the white gloves and three-fingers-and-a-thumb of standard issue cartoon characters...googly eyes, rubbery arms...lots of fun to be had with this fella, no doubt. 

But what he's really saying is:

"HEY KIDS!!  THIS CHEESE STUFF IS SO GOOD I WANT TO SMEAR IT ALL OVER MY CHEST!!!"

food, packaging
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September 27, 2010

Treat Depression with Smiley Face Buttons That Don't Cry

depressionbutton.jpg

Looks pretty easy to diagnose to me.  Are you a smiley face button, all bright yellow, with a big, black upturned grin forming dimples?  Or are you a dull yellow, smiley face button gone haywire, glassy eyed with tears running down your cheeks?

depressionButton.jpg


The first step to treating depression?  Hmm...I know.  Clicking banners that ask me if I know the first step in treating depression.  That's gotta make me feel better.

medical, pharmaceuticals
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September 22, 2010

Get Smart. Drink Brain Juice!

Aw c'mon!  It's APPLE JUICE!!  I suppose if I inject this into my cranium directly, I'll become a genius.  Or die.......
brainjuice_mod2.jpg

food, packaging
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September 13, 2010

Fake Food, Food

From our friends at Chipotle, who make decent burritos I admit, but spend a little too much time talking about the free-range animals on the farm...you know the ones they slaughter by the hundreds so your burrito can taste great? 

I'm not a purist, not vegan, wheatgan or megan (although I've known a few Meghans in my day).  But I don't like to hear about the animals that are in my food.  (as in  this entry from last year)

And what the hell is Real Meat Comma Meat.  Does the comma do anything at all to make this make any sense? 
realmeatmeat_Chipotle.jpg



copy for copy's sake
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September 10, 2010

Just between you and me...I chop up Multigrain Cheerios and snort them

Backs of cereal boxes: hot spot for marketing madness.  This triggers a "copy for copy's sake" instance that forces the inconsequential: "Just between you and me." 

meAndCheerios.jpg
What sort of secret is this Anne Hathaway-like model sharing with us?  She's not fooling us with crap about 'jumpstarting her metabolism to fire up her busy day.'  Let's face it...she's weak...SHE LIKES THE SUGAR!!! 

copy for copy's sake, food, packaging
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September 1, 2010

Worst Job A Catalog Model Could Ever Have

She finally gets some catalog work and this is her gig. 
deadmodel.jpg
Maybe it's just a cadaver from a med school?

catalog, modeling
Posted by lee sachs at 10:40 PM | | TrackBacks (0)

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This site is a creation of Lee Sachs and Cool Pillows, Inc. Yes, that's me, Lee Sachs (aka, coolpillows). If you have questions, comments, concerns, combustion or cartloads of other words that begin with "c," "k" or "q" please feel free to email me at lee DOT sachs at symbol gmail DOT com. (you can figure out what i'm trying to say there, right?)

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