From ABC Carpet & Home, NYC online and instore:
To wit:"ABC Home's mission is to serve by manifesting a retail paradigm shift in which we compose a revolutionary platform for offering cause related product through beauty, experience and magic, in order to guide you to creatively express your individuality, values and actualize your home as a sacred space."
WHAT?! Let us deconstruct.
"Our mission..." = Our excuse for making money...
"...is to serve by manifesting a retail paradigm shift in which we compose a revolutionary platform..." = ...is a store...
"...cause-related product..." = ...that sells junk...
"through beauty, experience and magic In order to guide you to" = ...that we make you want...
"...to creatively express your individuality, values and actualize your home as a sacred place..." = ...because your life is empty and you need things to make you feel whole.
Translated:
Our excuse for making money is a store that sells junk that we make you want because your life is empty and you need things to make you feel whole.
Great stuff! Your magical comments have actualized a sense of deep satisfaction!
Thanks for the comment Mark. Your magical comments made me feel like someone actually looks at this crazy site.
lee