October 2009 Archives

October 28, 2009

Marketing The Error Message

Hey, what sort of pretty sign is this!?  It's all lit up!  Like a TV screen!!  And what's this odd rectangle?  WOW!!
broken_sign3.jpg

Oh.

An error message.

 broken_sign2.jpg


October 24, 2009

Dr. Dirt meet Mr. Cheepee

I guess when you're business is dumpsters, there's no point in getting fancy with a "Dr." in your title. 
MisterCheepee.jpg
Mister works just fine.  But don't you wonder why they spelled it this way?  Why didn't they spell the whole thing wrong, like "Cheepee?"  Spelling it correctly, even though there is no such word, makes it sound like they're really serious about branding.  

October 22, 2009

Dr. Klinker Meet Dr. Dirt

Somehow, Mister Dirt doesn't have the same gravity and ring of truth that DOCTOR Dirt does.
 
doctorDirt.jpg

October 17, 2009

They're Making Jet Engines and They're Singing Love Songs...HURL!


I don't know much, but I know this commercial is ludicrous, annoying and I don't love it.  

October 15, 2009

Forget about Waldo. Where's The Traffic

See if you too can spot the relevant content in this cluttered page offering a smidgen of vital traffic info. 
SqueezeMap_orig.jpg


Here's the really distracting shit:
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Ahhh!  Here's the really important stuff...how could I miss it?!?
squeezeMap_hilite.jpg

October 10, 2009

Deer Candy?

No JOHN Deere Candy!  Oh that makes better sense. 
johndeere_candy_crap.jpg
It's simple.  Kids love candy.  Kids love tractors.  Kids will love candy tractors! 

That's like saying:  Socrates is a man.  Socrates loves candy.  Socrates loves candy men! 

October 9, 2009

Med School Candy?

operationCandyJunk.jpgOkay, we're into a meta-meta-meta-marketing. 
  • "Operation" is a board game which lets kids make believe they're surgeons. 
  • These candies are called "Operation" and branded like the board game. 
  • The individual pieces of candy are like the little organs that the "doctor" has to remove during the "operation."  

I'm flabbergasted as to how this sells anything
  • Will kids really into the board game going to want to eat the candy? 
  • Will kids really into the candy want to play the board game?
  • Will any enhancement of the Operation board game "brand" enhance our health care system? (no way in hell, btw.) 
In toto: this conglomerative mish-mosh of marketing ideas yields an unnatural mutation that should die because it has no purpose in this world. 
  • It says nothing 
  • It does nothing 
  • And sells nothing 
However, you can bet thousands upon thousands of dollars were burned in meetings, creative discussions and legal contracts putting together this out-on-a-limb concept. 

Wow...at least I was able to explain this to myself. 

October 5, 2009

"Paging Dr. Clinker! Paging Dr. Clinker!"

Even if it is coming from Ed Koch, it just doesn't sound right.  Are we talking about doctors or car mechanics?  
doc_clinker.jpg
And don't even get me started on the similarity between the word "clinker" and the word "clunker" (associated with a car you trade in for cash as in "Cash For Clunkers).

October 3, 2009

Electrified Class Action: The Litigation of Tomorrow

When you think "class action" what weather phenomenon do you think of?  Patchy fog?  Wind advisory?  Nope...Lightning Bolts!!  So, what better way to illustrate that point than to make an icon, with a little ball for a head of a guy based on a bolt!  
badicon_lightningboltMan.jpg


Just be careful it doesn't look like the guy is in some squatting position, as if he's about to sit down and do something ... perhaps in a bathroom.  

badicon_classAction1.jpg
badicon_lightningBoltMan2.jpg


October 1, 2009

Get Down Off The Ladder and Tell Me Where You Want Your Number!

Another example of the Extreme Height, Wide Angle School of Stock Photos.  This one is so extreme that it looks like her body consists of a huge torso with deformed stumps as some kind of pedestal.  She's otherwise kinda attractive, but I feel sorry for her.  

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